Friday, July 1, 2016

An Awkward Moments Compilation

We've all had our bad days. Sometimes things get downright weird, but these moments make the best stories. So I present, for the first time in human history, my awkward moments. Be prepared to cringe. I know I will be.

Hold up, one more quick thing before we begin. I'm going to omit names/make up names because of reasons. There, we can start now.

#1 - First Day on the Job

The moment I'd been waiting five long years for had come. I was on trial, hoping to prove myself as a hard worker in order to trade work for lessons at All Starr Stables. Thus far I'd passed with flying colors. I said my name correctly, remembered how old I was, and didn't get flustered when I asked for help with the rope halter since I'd never used one before.

I was cleaning Bella's stall, and feeling pretty proud of myself. The wheelbarrow was placed so I could get in and out, but Bella could not. But then, as I was cleaning, two girls came in and started fawning over Bella. Let's call them Amy and Corrie. The exchange went something like this:

"Awwww, Bella, you're so pretty." -Amy
*Incomprehensible cooing noises* -Corrie
*Girls notice I'm cleaning the stall. Awkward smiles are exchanged*
"Hi, are you new here?" -Amy
"Yup." -Me
*In my head* Stop sounding terrified they're just people*
"I'm Amy, and this is Corrie. What's your name?" -Amy
*Girls stare expectantly*
*I realise I was being spoken to and try to remember what they said*


*Awkward silence as I scream in my head JUST ASK "WHAT?" ALREADY IT'S GETTING WEIRD AND LESS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE AS THE SILENCE CONTINUES*
*Continued awkward silence*
"Sorry, what did you say?" -Me
*Amy repeats question and I answer awkwardly. We small talk until they leave, and I breathe a sigh of relief*


#1 - My Second Identity

Many years ago my sister was apart of some class, and they were going on a field trip to a farm. Knowing my love of farms, my mom suggested I join, even though I was younger and not apart of the class. So of course I went.

It just so happened another classmate brought her little sister. We hit it off fabulously, or, well... As well as I could. She was a bit crazier than me, so I awkwardly avoided participating in her crazier ideas.

We're going to call her Emily. Our first meeting was the strangest thing because somehow she misheard my name, Alina, as Alice.

"What's your name?" -Emily
"Alina." -Me
"Oh Alice!!" -Emily


"No it-" -Me
"COOL I HAVE A FRIEND NAMED ALICE THAT'LL BE REALLY EASY TO REMEMBER." -Emily
"But-" -Me
"LET'S GO INSIDE THOSE LITTLE HOUSES ALICE, MOST OF THEM ARE LOCKED BUT WE CAN STILL GET IN. YOU COMING ALICE?"
"I... yeah." -Me

And that's how I spent the day as a girl named Alice.


#3 - Hiding Within My Own Home

My dad was flying to an airshow with a friend of his. We call him Canada Dave because my dad knows too many Dave's. Like seriously, it's a problem.

It was vary early in the morning. My dad was getting ready, and Canada Dave had yet to arrive. I sat on the couch in the living room, playing on the DS or some compact electronic. I forget the details. Because it was still so early, and I think the weekend, I was still in my pajamas. Granted, I literally always wear my PJ pants unless we have company (though some of my friends may tell you that I wore them in their presents because I felt like it).

There was a knock on the door. I panicked, because I am blocked to getting to the safety of my room. Whether this was while I still slept upstairs or not I forget. The point it, I was trapped and in no state to be seen.

So what did I do? Did I try to make a mad dash to my room in the few precious seconds I had left? Did I throw a blanket over myself and attempt to fix my hair (not that that's possible without showering)? No. I dove behind a chair that was crammed in the corner where the end of the couch, a small side table, and the wall provided shelter.



Somehow I crammed myself underneath the side table. By the time I heard Canada Dave's voice at the door my neck already ached. It was hot. Uncomfortable. But there was no going back. My dad still wasn't ready, so Canada Dave waited in the living room. If I came out now it would be so awkward.

I was trapped in that corner, playing as quietly as possible so as not to bring attention to myself. And after what felt like an eternity, he finally left. Though I can never be sure of he saw me or not. It wasn't the most genius of hiding places. And when you're alone in a stranger's house, you start to notice things. Like children hiding in the corners of the room.


#4 - "Do You Know..."

I used to be in a science class a few years ago. Not sure how I ended up there. Science isn't a topic I've been very interested in. But I took this class. I was the quiet kid. Never caused any trouble. Didn't really speak. It was awkward on the Old West dress up day. The teacher would always pray, and I wasn't sure if I should take my hat off, or leave it on. Like my teacher literally addressed that in some cultures women would cover themselves up, and men would not, to show respect or whatever. Way to confuse a socially anxious tween.

But I digress! Arg. Someone needs to keep me on track... I'm just like that entomologist in Hawaii...

This story takes place on an average day. It was sometime in the middle of the year. I'd managed to only talk to my friend Becca (who also took part in the hat conundrum, thank goodness I wasn't alone). I sat in the front row, next to this girl named Sarah.

One day she turned to me. These were her first words to me:

"Do you know Thomas?" -Brianna
*confused spluttering as my mind locks up*
"Um, Thomas West?" -Me
"Yeah, that's the one." -Brianna
*Awkward silence as I congratulate myself on surviving another conversation*
"He talks about you a lot." -Brianna


"Haha, that's cool." -Me
*Internal screaming*

She never said a word to me since.

Talk about a weird conversation. I've never really thought much of it, but the more you think about it, the more strange it gets. Random person identifies you, just to tell you another human being talks about you a lot. Like, yes, thank you, good to know people think of me when I'm not around. Such a new phenomenon.

6 comments:

  1. XD At least I'm not alone in being the most awkward person in all of history.

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    1. Believe me, you will never be alone as long as I continue to breathe. XD

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  2. I'm laughing so hard!
    I've hear I think one of those stories, but the others are new! I loved the line *Internal screaming*. That put the icing on the cake.
    And you're not alone. I've had a fare share of awkward moments. You ain't alone gurl. XD

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    1. Glad I could make you laugh! My life basically consists of me internally screaming 74% of the time. It gets weird when people ask what you're thinking. Like, do I tell them I was screaming? Ehh, better not.

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  3. Oh Alina, you are a delight. I think there is AT LEAST one awkward moment for me every single day. Oh gosh, the most awkward of all was forgetting what Kristina looked like after about the third week cause I'm a terrible person and then going up to the loft and seeing her there, slightly confused as to who she was until she said my name XD And then theres every greeting/good bye ever. And trying to respond to a compliment... "You look nice today!" "THANKS I GOT IT AT TARGET" And trying to make a compliment in return... "I like your face..." "Ummm thanks?

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    1. Oh gosh! It's always awkward when you meet someone once and Rachelle's like "go get so and so" and I'm just like "ahhhh which one they all look the sameeee arg." XD True, greetings are just kinda awkward in general. AND YES. I never know how to reply to a comment. Like, "oh I like your shirt!" "HUMANS HAVE 206 BONES IN THEIR BODIES." *awkward silence*

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