Night Intrusion - The Short Story

Guys. I wrote a story. Not my usual kinda of story. The narrative is odd... inadvertently inspired by Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf. It's based on a true story, of something that happened to me the other night. Without further audio, I give you:

Night Intrusion

Gather round everyone, settle down. I have a story to tell. You all settled- Clarence that's not a chair. Okay, everyone ready? Good.

Now before we start, take a moment to imagine yourself in your bedroom. You sleep downstairs, while the rest of the family sleeps above. It's past midnight, and you're the only one who's still awake. Not an unusual occurrence. You finally settle down, setting aside your book. You dawn your pajamas, and climb into bed. It's outlandishly hot. Or rather, you're a born and raised Washingtonian, so seventy five degrees feels outlandishly hot. You turn on the fan beside your bed, and it blows into your face lulling your eyes shut. It takes time, but finally, sleep is yours.

Now the story may begin.

Your sleep is dreamless and peaceful. In your state of unconsciousness your body had deemed it comfortable to contort itself into various odd angles, tucking your limbs into positions only comfortable when in a deep, comatose like sleep.

But you're interrupted. You wake, groggy and your mind screaming bloody murder at whatever dare take you from such lovely rest. Perhaps goings to bed early was for naught. Sleeping in another half an hour sounds nice as you glace around to see what woke you.

Nothing is apparent. The tension rises. Something feels very wrong, but you can't quite place it.

It's still dark outside, and in these Summer months sunlight seems to peak at five in the morning. Or maybe it's six. Honestly you don't care. All you know is you've only managed to sleep a few measly hours.

The fan is still blowing, so the power didn't go out. No figures stand in the hallway either. Not within visible view, that is. The cat is ruled out immediately. His tried and true method of waking someone is pushing everything off their nightstand. Usually books. Which tend to be very loud when hitting hardwood floor. Makes for wonderful heart attacks.

No, whatever woke you is much more... menacing. Your thoughts shift to the sliding glass door. Silently you curse the bad decision not to buy curtains. Anyone or anything could be staring you down through that window. When you build the courage to shift your neck, you see nothing outside.

A bit odd. The floodlight isn't on. Quite frankly you would be relieved if it was. Opossums frequent the backyard at night, mistaking it for an animal highway. Sometimes there are even neighborhood cats that pay you visits in the dark. But no, nothing outside woke you either.

Your thoughts turn once more to the odd feeling from when you first woke up. Realization hits. You groan out of annoyance. Did you really just wake yourself up by sleeping in an uncomfortable position? Did you really just read a story about waking up due to weird sleeping habits?! Exasperation flowing through your body, you pull your arm limbs out from underneath you.

But something is wrong. Very wrong.

WHAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY- THERE IS SOMETHING IN THE BED.

It takes a moment for your brain to register. But you're pretty sure there's an arm in your bed. I repeat THERE IS AN ARM IN YOUR BED. It takes even long for you to realize that it's your arm. This heavy, warm, squishy thing is connected to your elbow. And finally it dawns on you.

You were sleeping on your forearm.

Looking back, the problem was quite obvious from the start. It would seem there was not enough blood movement in your arm. Easy fix. Just to be sure, though, you grab your wrist and lift your arm. The feeling of lifting your dead, uncomfortably warm and squishy arm is enough to drive rationality from your brain. In a last desperate attempt to keep your befuddled brain from exploding, you try to move your fingers. Suddenly you understand what the phantom pains from losing a limb is like. Your fingers don't move, but their ghost does.

Finally you lay on your side, repeating rational thinking as the feeling creeps into your arm. You sigh happily as your fingers move upon command once more. You eagerly await the painful needle like jabbing as blood rushes into your veins like an alien symbiote taking control of your body. It will be a restless night after all...


So tell me, am I the next best selling author or what? Did you enjoy my story? Was it horrible? Let me know in the comments.

Stay classy my friends.

My Top Five Favorite YouTubers

Confession: I'm a YouTube salker.

That's right. I just really love stalking YouTube channels and watching their videos over, and over, and over, and over, and over... well, you get the idea.

So I present to you, my top five YouTube Channels in absolutely no particular order. Obviously there are more but I'm just doing five. Okay, here goes.

Silfimur

This guy is piano playing goals. Mostly he covers film soundtracks, and they always sound amazing. He's the only person I've discovered thus far to adequately cover any Two Steps from Hell songs, AND he provides Synthesia tutorials which are my preferred method of learning piano.

I mean you simply must hear his cover of London Calling and the Star Trek Main Theme because reasons:

DUHorsemanship

My riding instructor uses Clinton Anderson's methods, and recently a friend of mine started watching his videos. So obviously I had to look him up. I'd gotten one of his books from the library, but I generally prefer videos to books for learning. And may I say his channel is probably the best horse channel out there. At least that I've found.

Very informative and fun to watch, really great if you work with horses. Or want to work with horses.

EventionTV

Evention is by far informative, as well as highly entertaining. They know how to have fun and teach at the same time.

Not to mention that they are hardcore.

I really love their videos, they cover good topics, and are very clear. Their videos are amazing quality, which is something you rarely see in other horse channels. I highly recommend them if you love horses, want to learn, but also want to laugh too.

Rogue ZoHu Productions

Okay maybe I'm biased since these are my friends, buuuut this is seriously one of my all time favorite channels. Their videos are perfection, and they just keeps getting better. Not to mention the Home Grown Filmmaker Vlogs, which are very informative.

My particular interest in filmmaking is choreographing fights. And actually fighting in said fights. So I'm particularly fond of any videos covering fight films. But the rest are all amazing, and it's really cool to see what's put into these films. Because a lot goes into them.

Studio C

And last, but most definitely not least, is Studio C! For the longest time I had a friend recommending them, but I always forgot by the time I got home. Then one day I heard laughter upstairs, and discovered that my sister had started watching their videos.

Their comedy is GOLD.

Literally me when I interact with strangers

I will never get over this dramatic reveal

"DEER!"

I could go on with the gifs. But quite frankly that would go on until I had gifs of every episode. Which would be very long.

All I can say is, Studio C will forever be my favorite comedy show. Like seriously every video is perfection I don't know how they do it.

That wraps up my top five YouTubers! What are your favorite YouTube channels? Tell me below in the comments. I'm always looking for good recommendations.

Stay classy my friends.

My Little Fear

I am terribly afraid of the phone. Answering it. Speaking... human contact... It's just the worst. I seem unable to understand the person on the other end of the line, regardless of their accent. So the rare times I do use the phone (even, to some extent with my own family) I get nervous. Really nervous.

It's something I choose to avoid at all costs.

And last year was my first year paying taxes. Bear with me, I promise these topics are related.

Paying taxes is not exactly something you look forward to. It's less money in my bank account, but I suppose it helps America out n'all. So I went through my first mess of taxes. Being employed by my dad apparently means I'm a contracted business. I'm a business!? Yes. This was news to me as I went about the trouble of which tax forum to use, online or off (offline for me) and all that trouble that comes with taxes.

There was much hard work put into sending that money out to the government. My first year of paying taxes, finally passed. Until the new year my friend.

But do I get peace?

NO.

A little letter came in the mail the other day. It traveled all the way from... well, wherever it came from. All the way to my little home to wreak havoc in my peaceful little life.

The IRS has informed me that, according to their record, I did not pay my taxes. But I can assure you, the story above is entirely true. I payed my taxes like an obedient citizen should do. Did they notice?

Apparently not.

So guess what I get to do? Oh it'll be a ball. See, I get to call a complete stranger, and sort out this problem because I do indeed have proof of my innocents. Won't that be so fun? Nervously sweating, heart pounding as though I'm running from a murderer, when in fact I'm just calling someone about a simple little mistake.

You know what I have to say to you, little phone that brings me torment?

Stay classy my friends.

An Awkward Moments Compilation

We've all had our bad days. Sometimes things get downright weird, but these moments make the best stories. So I present, for the first time in human history, my awkward moments. Be prepared to cringe. I know I will be.

Hold up, one more quick thing before we begin. I'm going to omit names/make up names because of reasons. There, we can start now.

#1 - First Day on the Job

The moment I'd been waiting five long years for had come. I was on trial, hoping to prove myself as a hard worker in order to trade work for lessons at All Starr Stables. Thus far I'd passed with flying colors. I said my name correctly, remembered how old I was, and didn't get flustered when I asked for help with the rope halter since I'd never used one before.

I was cleaning Bella's stall, and feeling pretty proud of myself. The wheelbarrow was placed so I could get in and out, but Bella could not. But then, as I was cleaning, two girls came in and started fawning over Bella. Let's call them Amy and Corrie. The exchange went something like this:

"Awwww, Bella, you're so pretty." -Amy
*Incomprehensible cooing noises* -Corrie
*Girls notice I'm cleaning the stall. Awkward smiles are exchanged*
"Hi, are you new here?" -Amy
"Yup." -Me
*In my head* Stop sounding terrified they're just people*
"I'm Amy, and this is Corrie. What's your name?" -Amy
*Girls stare expectantly*
*I realise I was being spoken to and try to remember what they said*

*Awkward silence as I scream in my head JUST ASK "WHAT?" ALREADY IT'S GETTING WEIRD AND LESS SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE AS THE SILENCE CONTINUES*
*Continued awkward silence*
"Sorry, what did you say?" -Me
*Amy repeats question and I answer awkwardly. We small talk until they leave, and I breathe a sigh of relief*


#1 - My Second Identity

Many years ago my sister was apart of some class, and they were going on a field trip to a farm. Knowing my love of farms, my mom suggested I join, even though I was younger and not apart of the class. So of course I went.

It just so happened another classmate brought her little sister. We hit it off fabulously, or, well... As well as I could. She was a bit crazier than me, so I awkwardly avoided participating in her crazier ideas.

We're going to call her Emily. Our first meeting was the strangest thing because somehow she misheard my name, Alina, as Alice.

"What's your name?" -Emily
"Alina." -Me
"Oh Alice!!" -Emily

"No it-" -Me
"COOL I HAVE A FRIEND NAMED ALICE THAT'LL BE REALLY EASY TO REMEMBER." -Emily
"But-" -Me
"LET'S GO INSIDE THOSE LITTLE HOUSES ALICE, MOST OF THEM ARE LOCKED BUT WE CAN STILL GET IN. YOU COMING ALICE?"
"I... yeah." -Me

And that's how I spent the day as a girl named Alice.


#3 - Hiding Within My Own Home

My dad was flying to an airshow with a friend of his. We call him Canada Dave because my dad knows too many Dave's. Like seriously, it's a problem.

It was vary early in the morning. My dad was getting ready, and Canada Dave had yet to arrive. I sat on the couch in the living room, playing on the DS or some compact electronic. I forget the details. Because it was still so early, and I think the weekend, I was still in my pajamas. Granted, I literally always wear my PJ pants unless we have company (though some of my friends may tell you that I wore them in their presents because I felt like it).

There was a knock on the door. I panicked, because I am blocked to getting to the safety of my room. Whether this was while I still slept upstairs or not I forget. The point it, I was trapped and in no state to be seen.

So what did I do? Did I try to make a mad dash to my room in the few precious seconds I had left? Did I throw a blanket over myself and attempt to fix my hair (not that that's possible without showering)? No. I dove behind a chair that was crammed in the corner where the end of the couch, a small side table, and the wall provided shelter.

Somehow I crammed myself underneath the side table. By the time I heard Canada Dave's voice at the door my neck already ached. It was hot. Uncomfortable. But there was no going back. My dad still wasn't ready, so Canada Dave waited in the living room. If I came out now it would be so awkward.

I was trapped in that corner, playing as quietly as possible so as not to bring attention to myself. And after what felt like an eternity, he finally left. Though I can never be sure of he saw me or not. It wasn't the most genius of hiding places. And when you're alone in a stranger's house, you start to notice things. Like children hiding in the corners of the room.


#4 - "Do You Know..."

I used to be in a science class a few years ago. Not sure how I ended up there. Science isn't a topic I've been very interested in. But I took this class. I was the quiet kid. Never caused any trouble. Didn't really speak. It was awkward on the Old West dress up day. The teacher would always pray, and I wasn't sure if I should take my hat off, or leave it on. Like my teacher literally addressed that in some cultures women would cover themselves up, and men would not, to show respect or whatever. Way to confuse a socially anxious tween.

But I digress! Arg. Someone needs to keep me on track... I'm just like that entomologist in Hawaii...

This story takes place on an average day. It was sometime in the middle of the year. I'd managed to only talk to my friend Becca (who also took part in the hat conundrum, thank goodness I wasn't alone). I sat in the front row, next to this girl named Sarah.

One day she turned to me. These were her first words to me:

"Do you know Thomas?" -Brianna
*confused spluttering as my mind locks up*
"Um, Thomas West?" -Me
"Yeah, that's the one." -Brianna
*Awkward silence as I congratulate myself on surviving another conversation*
"He talks about you a lot." -Brianna

"Haha, that's cool." -Me
*Internal screaming*

She never said a word to me since.

Talk about a weird conversation. I've never really thought much of it, but the more you think about it, the more strange it gets. Random person identifies you, just to tell you another human being talks about you a lot. Like, yes, thank you, good to know people think of me when I'm not around. Such a new phenomenon.

Something I've Noticed

I think a person's room says a lot about them. So whenever I happen to be in the room of a friend, I like to observe what's on display, or lying about. It really gives you a good sense of a person, you know?

And oh my gosh guys, stop having such clean rooms you're like goals.

Okay back to the point.

Usually there's a bookshelf (basically all my friends are bookworms), so I like to study all the books. Sometimes I recognize a few, and happily fangirl because they've read the same books as me. Or I'll see books I've never heard of. Some shelves have more items on display that books, or more books that should be humanly possible to fit on the shelf.

Then you see their desk, which ranges from perfectly neat to everything lives there. Sometimes there are pictures, which obviously have a bit of meaning to the person, or possibly a notebook. Or paper. Lots of paper. Whatever suits their needs.

Everything says something about that person, and I think that's really cool. Like, if it wasn't considered creepy, I'd probably sit in a person's room for a while and try to discern everything I could about them. Because that's just cool to me.

But you know, there's something that perplexes me. Like, a lot.

Apparently other people don't use every square inch of their room for storage?? Like seriously, tell me your secrets of how you guys have such clean rooms. You've got a lovely bed and desk, neat shelves, and nice things hanging on the wall. The corners are clear of random things being propped against them, and it just has a very clean feel.

If my room was that nice, I'd have done so many more things with my life.

In contrast, my room has three small, but overcrowded bookshelves and a desk that houses basically everything despite my attempts to keep it clean. Whether my bed is made doesn't matter, because it's usually covered in my weaponry that I still need to mount to the walls, there are books on every surface in the room (including the floor, as I've run out of table space), my walls are covered with NRA Certificates and signed playbills, I have Lego's on display everywhere, there's a random keyboard in the middle of the room because I still haven't gotten around to selling it... Oh, and an exercise ball sits beside my desk, with my saddle on it because I haven't built a stand yet, and underneath my bed is ridiculously full.

That sounds like a lot of stuff, right? I'm not even finished here, I've got three shelves mounted on the wall with books, Lego's, and Disney memorabilia, stuffed animals that I can't bring myself to get rid of on every extra surface, three cupboards full of old models builds and models I've collected over the years, and lastly all the most random things stuffed in my desk, from a hoard of binders filled with my writing, to wooden knives and lock picks. Like seriously, my room is packed.

I don't even know where I got all this stuff.

Basically, when you walk into my room, expect a lot of stuff. 

It just confuses me when I walk into someone's room, and I don't see rolled up posters propped in a corner, or maybe a briefcase shoved to the side. You guys are so neat, go you! Like seriously, you want something, my room probably has it. I don't even know what's under my bed anymore... it's kind of a scary place.

So tell me, what do you think when you see another person's bedroom? I hope I'm not the only one looking at stuff and analyzing the person to understand them better. And hey, what's your room like? Lemme know in the comments. Unless that's creepy. In which case I'll back away slowly...